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Fans of Punch Out!! and Ready 2 Rumble Boxing have been squirming with fist-happy glee sinceFacebreaker was announced in January. Distinctive characters, cartoon violence, and a worthy challenger to the Punch Out!! throne were all promised. Two of these things have been achieved. Guess which one wasn’t.

Simply put, the controls are a tragedy. If you want to see two people in snazzy clothes slap wildly at each other, you could walk to your local bar at closing time. Facebreaker K.O. Party charges £20 for it. Jab as fast as you can, a’ la Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots, to interrupt your opponent’s blows. You can dodge the hundred-hand-slap, but it requires you to yank the Wiimote towards you, and it’s so finicky and unresponsive that you end up flailing about like an idiot. It’s almost as if they ported the game right across from the Xbox and PS3 versions, where you actually have buttons to bash.

To that you might say, ‘Big deal. So there are no tactics. Plenty of games have simple controls, to attract casual gamers.’ Wrong. The computer AI is so difficult, even at the easiest setting, that playing the single player mode is akin to fighting off a wolf with a feather duster. They may as well rename the game “AAGH! LET ME DODGE!” and be done with it. And to that you might say, ‘It’s called K.O Party. It’s multiplayer. So what if the solo mode is a pain?’ Well you’d be wrong; half of the characters and most of the stages need to be unlocked, and guess how you do it? Six championship belts, each more difficult than the last, totaling 18 matches, and if you decide to switch characters mid-way you have to start all over again.

So now let’s focus on the good. There are a few attractive aspects to this game. To start, we have the stylised and original characters. Each has a personality, a distinctive look and manner, and unique stats that alter the gameplay (though this comes down to either ‘punch slow’ or ‘punch fast’). Then we have the between-round break, where the characters show off their warped, bruised faces. Finding their jaw where their ear should be is, admittedly, entertaining – if only for the satisfaction of knowing your character has suffered like you have.

The game’s main attribute is the soundtrack. 24 tracks of licensed music, including material from the likes of The Hives, Gogol Bordello, the Dropkick Murphys and The Go! Team, as well as many electro and hip-hop songs, play as menu music and character theme songs. The inclusion of such high-calibre music really makes you want to like Facebreaker K.O. Party. But if anything, it causes this awful depthless game to stand juxtaposed against the soundtrack, like an old man doing the Charleston at a rave.

So, we’re back to the criticism.

Here are some features of boxing: wearing down your opponent, provocation, stances and footwork. And here are some features of not-boxing: kicks to the balls, glowing fists and charging up your Facebreaker-bar to instantly win the match with a special move.

So, as opposed to being a boxing game, it seems Facebreaker is an impaired beat-’em-up, with two kinds of block (one of which being too finicky to be valid), punching, and damageless throws. Each character has a different move-set, plus one special move. That’s five moves. Pitiful though it may be, this is some incentive to unlock more players. The game isn’t entirely unplayable, just entirely frustrating. Occasionally you’ll win a match, but then you’ll return to the character-select screen to find some nasal American singing emo-pop and tainting the only good aspect to the game.

In conclusion, Facebreaker is superficial, weak, and an apology of a game. If EA Freestyle put half the time and money into the gameplay as they did the soundtrack, it might have worked. But yet again, the studio formerly known as EA Sports Big – the once-great brand that gave us SSX Tricky – has shamed itself with another game of the lowest calibre.


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Facebreaker is not the usual game you’d expect EA to release. Their back catalogue is lined with great sport simulators encompassing the sporting worlds of golf, ice hockey, American football and boxing as well as many others. Serious and realistic games designed to satisfy fans of the sports. So what does Facebreaker have to offer? Is it a step in a new direction for EA or simply filling a gap until their next proper boxing sim?


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EA have taken quite a bit of stick over the years for churning out endless updates of their sports titles, but despite most feeling like carbon copies there have been some series that have really shaken up the rest of the competition and introduced some neat control ideas. Tiger Woods was one of those; the analogue control gave golf games a big kick in the clubs and was a major departure from the traditional 3-click control system. Another series was Fight Night. Again EA took full advantage of analogue control, this time making each analogue stick directly control the boxer’s gloves and giving an unprecedented level of control over each punch and jab. This alongside the impressive graphics made it one of the better boxing games available.

With the series seemingly given an indefinite break, EA have brought out something a little different to fill the boxing glove shaped gap in their release schedule. And despite coming from the same team, Facebreaker couldn’t be more different.

The analogue control has been thrown out of the window in favour of a return to buttons only, meaning fights are less about finesse and more about who can hit the buttons quicker. The parry/dodge moves lend a bit of credibility to what is a weak control system but it’s just not solid enough to make enough of a difference. It’s a far-cry from the epic, crunching bouts of Fight Night. Facebreaker feels too shallow; it’s all glorified razzmatazz without the substance to back it up. Think less Nigel Benn and more Frank Bruno.

Graphically, EA Canada have gone for a style about as far removed from the realism present in Fight Night as you can get without using wizards and scaly creatures of unimaginable horror. Gone are the real life boxers, instead they are replaced by a bunch of cartoony brawlers that look like the forgotten rejects of Punch-Out or Ready 2 Rumble. Unfortunately none of Facebreaker’s cast are as memorable as King Hippo or Afto Thunder were; instead you get to choose from 12 pretty stereotypical fighters to hit the ring with. To be fair they do play quite differently, aside form the usual balancing act of strengths and weaknesses each fighter has a distinct weak spot you’ll need to exploit in order to win. Finding the Achilles heel for each opponent can be quite gratifying if you spend enough time with the game.

Unfortunately EA haven’t managed to balance this very well. Fights against AI opposition quickly become repetitive as each fighter sticks rigidly to his or her AI routine. Until you work out your opponents weakness fights can be pretty frustrating affairs; once you find it you can guarantee a win every time. It isn’t helped by the eponymous facebreaker punch – land enough combos and you can eventually unleash a devastating punch that leaves your opponent ‘s face looking a bit like Sly Stallone’s mum. The result is impressive enough (using an exaggerated version of Fight Night’s realistic damage feature) but it means fight’s can be decided more by luck rather than pure skill.

Facebreaker’s longevity is seriously hampered by a lack of options in single player; you can fight, or you can fight to win characters and arenas. But the AI battles can quickly become tiresome and the unlockables don’t feel worth unlocking. There aren’t any variations on the one-on-one fights, so no career modes or arcade-style tournament progression here. Only the create-a-boxer options give you a reason to come back after you’ve unlocked everything and these don’t feel as fleshed out as some of EA’s other titles.

In multiplayer, however, Facebreaker can actually be pretty good fun. The flipside of simplified controls and cartoony graphics means that you can have an evenly matched brawl with any of your friends and the cutscenes showing off each fighter’s mangled features are funnier (and slightly less annoying) when there’s a crowd. And fighting with your own tailor-made characters (or ‘guest star’ Peter Moore) can make these fights more interesting.

Facebreaker showed some early promise but it fails to deliver anything more than an average brawler. It might appeal to the casual crowd but there’s precious little here that will keep the hardcore interested. If Michael Bay ever decided to make a boxing game, he’d probably come up with something similar to this. But with more explosions. And Bruce Willis.